Monday, April 30, 2007

Top Ten Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

5. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

6. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

7. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8 My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

10. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


Anonymous said...

My CPA gave this to me the other day...had the best laugh reading it..even my 15y/o got a laugh out of it~my copy had a few are some more things that moms teach their kids :)

1. my mother taught me about GENETICS..."Your just like your father" mother taught me LOGIC..."Becuase I said so, thats why"

Anonymous said...

mom taught me how to pray. for that i owe her more than i can say. mom also taught me to not to gossip.

mom taught me to trust in Jesus.
to not lean on my understanding, but His.