What's the two things that never change in a Jesuit Mass?
The bread and wine.
The parish was raffling off a brand new BMW, so the elderly parishioner bought a ticket. Figuring he could use some assistance, he went to the local Franciscan monastery. "Oh, Father, " he begged the friar who answered the door, "I've got to win that BMW in the raffle. Would you say a novena for my intention?"
"That wouldn't be in the spirit of St. Francis now would it?" the priest asked. "However, I'll pray for you, my son."
So, the old boy tries the Dominicans and begs for a novena to win the BMW. No luck. "That wouldn't be in the spirit of St. Dominic, now would it? However, I'll pray for you my son."
Finally, in desperation, he goes to the Jesuits. After pondering the man's request, the Jesuit says, "Okay, the BMW I understand. But what's a novena?"
Just remember, Jesuits. We're not laughing at you, we're laughing beside you. Anyway, y'all don't have anyone to blame but yourselves.